A Message from Mary Ann:

I want to share that it is my passion to write music that does more than entertain. I want to write music that stirs a person's heart to long for something more, something deeper. Life is fleeting, beauty fades, things rust...people aren't always what they appear to be. Yet, there is ONE who will never, ever change. He is my Faithful Friend, my Savior, and my Rock - Jesus Christ. In all of my years, I have never had a friend more true. He has revealed Himself to me in such a special way, and what He has done for me, He can do the same for you!

It is not my desire to be famous. If I live my life experiencing the joy of having a few TRUE friends, then I will have lived a very rich life. I also don't want to live a life of mediocrity; I truly DO want to shoot for a higher mark. I want to leave a legacy that will endure for generations. I want my life to count for something that is bigger than me.

I believe a songwriter can change the world. I want to write songs that will move people's hearts to do something to make this world a better place.

I love experimenting with different styles of music. I enjoy painting pictures with my songs. I can't draw, so this is how I express myself. I love playing the piano, guitar, and percussion with a few other instruments on the side. I arrange and produce my own material, so that might qualify me as a geek :) Hearing full orchestrations comes very easily for me. I believe that music is a gift given to me by God. I am humbled by this.

I have been blessed to work with (in my opinion) some of the best out there. I have traveled extensively throughout the United States and overseas with several different bands. I love experiencing different cultures. I have a heart for the nations.

By the grace of God, I am a multiple award-winning, singer-songwriter, who was blessed to be a guest artist on a popular television show in the Sacramento area, and am currently featured on a number of internet radio stations throughout the country

Thank you for your interest in my music, and may our God bless you today and always!

Your friend,

Mary Ann

Debra D Bernard - Aug 06, 1957 - Aug 11, 2003

Debra was the type of person that everybody loved. She was extremely intelligent and full of beauty, beyond the norm. She was truly my hero growing up (she was a few years older than me), and I am so proud of the fact that she was my cousin. She was my ray of sunshine when I was down, and as a child, it was an honor to be her "blood sister". What adventures we shared together on Mamaw and Papee's large farm in Tennessee! I treasure each and every memory, and am so grateful to God that I have them.

I will never forget when I first found out that Debra had breast cancer. She was a nurse, so I knew that she would make sure that everything that needed to be done would be performed (tests, treatments, etc.). I remember being filled with deep sorrow and a tremendous burden to pray for Debra. It hurt that we lived so far away from each other. I just kept praying that God would heal her body. I found out later that by the grace of God, it was during this time that Debra gave her life to Jesus. I remember receiving a letter from her that really touched my heart during this difficult time. My eyes filled with tears as I read these words written by her hand... "I had breast cancer about 3 years ago. I think that is when I truly started to live. I have lived more and enjoyed my life in the last 3 years than I thought was possible. I have been a Christian or what I thought was a Christian, but I never truly gave my life to Jesus until I got breast cancer. It was then that I gave my life to the Lord and said... "take it, I'll live the rest of it for you"...I am not sure "why" the breast cancer has metastasized into breast cancer of the bone, the whole skeletal system, but I know God has a plan for this too...He could just make this cancer disappear if He wants or He may use my death in His plan. Wherever He leads I pray for the strength to go..." Debra went to be with Jesus on August 11, 2003. Only two years after writing this letter. She had just turned forty-six years old. I must say that Debra's love for Jesus never waivered. She was strong until the end...

At first, I was angry... You see, Debra was one of those people that deserved to live. She still had dreams to be fulfilled. She and her husband had just adopted a baby girl from Russia. She was such a beautiful person. I kept asking God why He had to take her so soon. I mean...why do things happen in life the way they do, sometimes? Honestly, I don't have the answer, but I know whose arms I can fall into when these things do happen. You know, some day that time is going to come for all of us. As long as Jesus tarries, none of us will be exempt from that moment when death comes knocking at our door. We don't know when that hour will come, but I pray that we will be ready when it does. My cousin was ready. Jesus took her sooner than I thought He should, but does that negate who God is? God is God. Some things we just won't understand until we step into eternity...

Until that time, I will trust my God, no matter what. I will say it again...God is God. I want to live my life, just as it is...a gift. I don't want to ever take it for granted. While I still have breath in my lungs, I want to be used for God's glory. I know that some day I am going to see Debra again. And yes, I am going to run into her arms and laugh and play with her just as we did as children, but this time it will be in our glorified bodies.

Please know that Jesus loves you! I hope that some day Debra and I will see you in Heaven, too! This life is only a vapor...a drop in a bucket compared to eternity. May you remember this...John 3:16-17 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." Also, Isaiah 55:6-7 says..."Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, For He will ABUNDANTLY pardon." I will say it again...Jesus loves you!

God bless you and thank you for taking the time to read my blog as a tribute to Debra...

For His glory,

Mary Ann

(I want you to know that this is the first time that I have ever shared a part of my life history, so intimately, for anyone to read. This was not easy for me to do, but I felt that it was important for me to finally share this story. I pray that God uses it to touch your life, not only to remind you of His incredible love for you, but to encourage you to remind others of the same.)

Remembering an old friend...

It seems like it was just yesterday, when we used to hang out together. We first met when I was going to college in Williamsburg, Kentucky. He was one of my very best friends. A true brother in so many ways. His smile could light up a room, and he was so fun to be around. We used to joke that we must have been twins, separated at birth. It was crazy that we were both born on the same month, day, and year. Our personalities were very similar, and we even looked alike with our curly blond hair and blue eyes. He spoke with a thick southern drawl, just like I did at the time. He stood a few inches taller, and made me feel so safe when I was around him. We used to spend so much time together. Sometimes, I wondered if there could possibly be more between us, but I knew that I could never go there. Fear kept me from sharing these feelings with him. Yes, I was happy enough just being his friend...

As time went on, our lives began to go in different directions. I had moved home to Tennessee after graduating from college, and he had found a job working in another state. We would communicate at times through letters and phone calls. One of the things I remember *Jason telling me, quite often, was how much he wanted to see me. My heart ached to see him, but hundreds of miles separated us from each other. We would have to settle with letters and phone calls for a little while longer...

I remember one night getting a phone call from Jason. It was late in the evening, and I had to get up early the next day to go to work. Jason had shared with me in a conversation before that he was going to be coming home, and that he couldn't wait to see me and all of his friends. We had both just turned twenty-four years old. But this evening was different from any of his other phone calls. He seemed distant, and I couldn't figure out why he would call me to not really talk. I was so frustrated, that I ended up cutting him short. I remember feeling bad, that I had basically hung up on him. I didn't know how much my actions would haunt me a few weeks later...

I will never forget the night I received a phone call from my dear friend, *Thomas. He was sobbing on the other end, and I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. I had to ask him again, to make sure what I was hearing was true. I fell to my knees and cried out in anguish as what he was telling me began to sink in. "Dear God, no!" All I could do was repeat this phrase over and over again. I wanted to understand what had happened. Please God, not Jason...

One of the hardest times of my life was the day that I had to prepare myself for the drive up to Kentucky from my home in Tennessee. I never thought that my precious reunion with Jason would be something as devastating as this. I was numb, my eyes swollen from crying a million tears. I dreaded the moment before me more than anything I had ever faced in my entire life. The most painful part was that Jason didn't have to die...

The story I was told was that when Jason had finally came home to Kentucky, he apparently went out and had too much to drink one night. Consequently, he was pulled over by the police for a DUI. They took him to jail and placed him in a cell where he ended up tragically hanging himself with his own belt. I understand that they found him dead, but were able to revive him for approximately eight more hours before he was finally officially declared dead. People said that he was mentally alert, but was paralyzed from the neck down. His pastor was able to be with him during his final hours. I know that God had mercy on Jason to bring him back for a moment longer. I am sure that he prayed a million prayers for the people that he loved. The family that he would leave behind...

I walked into the room filled with people, and saw the casket where my friend lay. My feet felt like lead, so heavy. I didn't want THIS to be our reunion. The moment that we had talked about so many times. But something inside gave me the strength to go on. I felt God's strong arms around me. It was something I just had to do. I wanted to see my friend. I wanted to look at his face one last time. His curly blond hair, and slender body. I walked up to the casket and looked down at my dear friend. I knew this wasn't Jason anymore. This was a mere shell of my friend, but in a strange way, it was soothing to finally get to see him after so long... I sobbed all the way home.

I know that if Jason could tell you anything at this moment, he would tell you that suicide is NOT the answer. He was so young when he took his precious life. He had so much ahead of him... so many blessings, yet to experience. Trust me, I know that life is hard, but just know, my friend, that if you are going through a difficult time, your blessing is just around the corner. God will NOT allow you to go through more than you are able to bear. Just trust His word for you. There have been a few times in my life, that I honestly didn't think I was going to make it a day longer. I know what it is like to go through intense trials, but I am here to tell you, that I am so thankful that I held on to God's promises. I have been blessed in so many ways! I know, based on His word, that in whatever I face, God is right there with me. And for every challenge, He is making me into a better person.

I want you to know that I care about you, but there is One who cares for you far more than I ever could. Remember that you are precious to Him. He loves you with a love beyond human understanding. His love will NEVER fail! You are NOT alone. Hold on.You may not see it right now, but if you just hold on, it will get better for you. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, find somebody to talk to about your feelings. If you need to, get solid, biblically based counseling. Please know that if you ever need somebody to pray for you, I am here. I would gently encourage you to read Psalm 139 before you go to bed and when you wake up in the morning. Remember this...Psalm 139:17,18..."How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You." "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning"...Psalm 30:5b.

Jesus loves us, my friends. May we never, ever forget it!

Under His wings,

Mary Ann

* Names were changed for privacy reasons